Shorts

by Nick Delonas

I'm just like everyone else. I'm normal
I'm not like anyone else. I'm special.
I'm just like everyone else. I'm normal
I'm not like anyone else. I'm special.

A match made in heaven gave rise to the fires burning in hell.

Computer-screen rays flood unblinking eyes. They shower spiritual debtors with ore for a copious idol. Wallets grow fat as personalities widen ever further. A mechanical ice covers all sense of humanity with a grotesque lust that ensures arrogant gluttony's utter triumph.

Mea culpa.

"What's that?"
"It's a fuckin' Fuken."
"Whoa. A fuckin' Fuken Fuken?"
"Huh? No, not a fuckin' Fuken Fuken Fuken."
"I never said anything about a fuckin' Fuken Fuken Fuken Fuken. I thought you said it was a fuckin' Fuken Fuken."
"Man, what the fuck are you talkin' about a fuckin' Fuken Fuken Fuken Fuken Fuken or a fuckin' Fuken Fuken Fuken. It's just a fuckin' Fuken."
"That's what I said -- a fuckin' Fuken Fuken."

The most important aspect of religion is sincerity. Divinity forgives all the mistakes of the sincere, however severe, and punishes the false piousness of the insincere most dreadfully.

At least, this is my hope.

(female English accent:)

It's not that your writing is so bad, Alfred. Really it's not that at all.

It's more got to do with the simple fact that you yourself are such an ass.

A cow cannot understand why a man would wander from the bovine path.

One problem with being intelligent is that everyone else seems so fucking stupid.